Aggressive communication is based on estimating that our ideas and desires are above those of others. In this way, people who use aggressive language defend themselves in an imposing way, even if it means violating ethical standards and the rights of others. People who communicate aggressively only take into account their own rights and do not take into account the feelings of others, which hurts communication.
Verbal and non-verbal abuse is a type of hit that does not leave a physical trace, at first, but is more painful and more difficult to recover. The victim has nothing palpable that makes the attack (bruise) evident, this facilitates the game of denial-confusion.
It is an instrument of control to gain power over the other person. And it can be open or covert. In couples, there is the exchange of victim-perpetrator roles. But it can happen in a stereotypical way.
Aggressive communication generally arises from the repression of deep aggression, generated many years ago, by parental or significant figures. This aggression provoked anger against the aggressors and against himself; Anger that is then only transferred to the partner, whom the aggressor uses as a trash can.
Its effects are qualitative; only the anguish of the victim can define the degree of aggression. This is generally private, it is common that only the victim hears it, especially at the beginning, because the aggressor is looking for it.
This style of communication shows an emotional lack on the part of those who must learn that talking to another person involves not only attending to personal interests but also to those of others.
There are forms of aggressive communication that can also be frequent in everyday dialogue: complaints, personal reproaches, emotional blackmail or manipulation are a clear example of this.
The aggressive style of communication is opposed to the passive style that shows the role of that person who assumes a secondary role in communication. Neither of these communication styles is appropriate, as the ideal is to achieve the balance of assertiveness.
Currently, there are training courses on communication issues in which the student obtains the necessary tools to learn to express himself correctly by paying attention not only to the words but also to the form.
